Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Dear Oscars, you're gonna burn in Hell. Sincerely, The Beast
Seriously, What the fuck?
How in the fuck, do you snub, no, jack this chick. This beautiful, funny, emotionally intelligent woman. This babe. This vision. This talent. This T.V. AND film star. This iconic hotty. This brave soul. This charming gal. This feature film Golden Globe Nominee for best actress. This member of the fucking Academy of 40 years. This.....Angel.
No, I'm sorry, I don't wanna hear your bullshit excuses about time. I mean who do you think you're bullshitting? Just because I don't eat caviar out of peoples assholes doesn't mean I'm an idiot. I know your ceremony better than you. I have a library full of it....chronicling it's decline.
I keep hearing some shit about, "She never did any real films, other than that stupid Cannonball Run." First off, CANNONBALL RUN, Rocks. Second, sucka: No real films huh? What the fuck do you call this:
You know what I call it? A real awesome film. That's what I call it. You know why? Because it is. You know why? Because of Farrah Fucking Fawcett. That's why, you dumbass.
I still don't know HOW you got away with snubbing/jacking Adrienne Shelly back in 2006-07 Oscars. You should have been scalped for that shit. But this one....brother, you are gonna be molded in clay for this shit and cooked over the fuckin' fires of Hell.
It takes less than 3 seconds to flash an image of someone we've lost. It's not like we're asking for 5 other stars to go on stage and kiss her ass for ten minutes. Which I should add IS a waste of time. No. The lady deserves respect. And the twenty minutes spent kissing nominees asses could have gotten her and all the other snubbed/jacked their respected acknowledgment for the LIFE TIME of work they gave us.
You really can't spare those few seconds? Fuck you! "What the fuck happened to you, man? You used to be beautiful."
Here are a few dozen reasons why Farrah is the sweet ingredient of Awesomeness Sauce:
You're lucky Farrah was so sweet. And you're actually lucky you're going to Hell. I wouldn't want to be you when Ricardo, Bea Arthur, and Henry Gibson catch your ass. Plus Dan O'bannon will be conceiving your eternal damnation.
And another thing, I love the guy, but....Michael Jackson. One word, Grammys.
On behalf of all Baadassss Beasts and Beauties....blow me.